Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
