with your own penis?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
