ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
there is glitter all over my balls
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize