sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
