Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
