My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
