I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
