respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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