wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
