So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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