I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
