dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
