those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
