PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize