Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
