I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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