She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
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He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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