Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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