at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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