I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
