so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
everyone is single if you try hard enough
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
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Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
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JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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