So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize