I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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