margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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