I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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