Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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