omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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