look no pants
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize