when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
