yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
