What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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