I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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