I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
