I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
