haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
