I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize