Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
someone owes me an orgasm
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
