thus making me awesome and them whores
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
