just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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