We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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