I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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