I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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