Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize