So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
