Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
