His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
