bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Who died my cat blue again?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
