my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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