Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
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