Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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