dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
