it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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