loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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