So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
