So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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