Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
In other news, I just burned my penis
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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