i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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