I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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