If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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