Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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