How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
