I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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