i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
