Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
