I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
